Who are you when nobody is watching?

In a world of naysayers, happy-to-haters and negative Nancy’s, you must know who you are. You have to have unwavering self confidence. You may crack but you will never, ever break.


People will accidentally, and yes sometimes, intentionally push you down. Life will undoubtedly test your strength over, and over. The only thing you can count on is that things will go “wrong.”

When it happens, you may grasp for control over the situation or people involved. You may ask yourself, "Why me?" The truth is the only control you have is with who you are. Who are you when the lightening strikes?

They say lightening rarely strikes twice but I beg to differ. I am a firm believer that it will strike again, again and again until you learn the lesson. Want to be an A+ student in life? Take the lessons, learn from them and make the requisite changes to move forward.

That is where accountability comes in. I know as a coach that accountability is the single most important determinant factor in achieving goals. Can you learn and can you take responsibility for your actions? When you take accountability for yourself, your life and everything that happens in it, this puts you in a position of power.

Power to choose who you want to be and choose the life you want to live. The possibilities become endless. Believe in yourself and hold yourself to being that person. Walk the walk and not just talk, talk, talk.

You could choose to be yourself and be braver then you were raised to be. You could choose to make history or change the future by raising the kind of (kind) people the world so desperately needs.

We are all victims of something or someone. Nobody goes through life unscathed. It can lead you down two different roads. You can go out and inflict the same hurt on to others OR you can choose understanding. You can come from a place of hate or you can choose to have compassion no matter what situation you find yourself in.

You can learn from those painful experiences and stand up for others. You can be brave enough take a different road and not care what anyone has to say about it.

Bullies are only powerful if we let them change who we are. Don’t let someone else’s hatred of their own self, change who you are or who you’ll become. Choose love, choose empathy and be the change.

Choosing to be yourself and love without any expectation can be a difficult at times. In an attempt to feel powerful and in control others may diminish you. You’ve heard it before- hurt people, hurt people. It’s a vicious cycle that needs to end with you and I. We are the change, we are history.

The secret to life is believing. Belief is what keeps life moving. Belief in yourself is the Santa Clause of grown ups. You actually have to believe in YOURSELF to get the gifts that life has to offer you.

You have to believe that you deserve to have everything you’ve ever dreamed of. You have to wake up from the lies you’ve been told about yourself to be able to create the life you want. That can be completely empowering and equally as terrifying to know that. The point is you have a choice.

Don’t let the fear of rejection or being alone deter you from doing what is right. You hear it all the time but life really is short. Today is the day to make a change. Today is your chance to do something meaningful. Today you can choose to be yourself regardless of who is watching.

I truly believe that when we stop learning, we die. There is so much more than our physical bodies. We have to peel back the layers to make sure we are not going rotten at the core. I’m an optimist so I would never assume that someone is inherently bad. We are not born wanting to harm, hurt or hate others. Change is possible, I have to believe that.

It does take a level of self awareness and reflection to make sure you are being the real you and living with integrity. A good way to find out is to look at how you treat other people. That often is a good indication of how you see yourself.

Who are you when nobody is watching? Keep a close watch and make sure you are staying true to yourself.